Already, this page has been the subject of praise from people too numerous to list. Here are a few words from the unwise...
Keith "Hill" McGregor
Keith McGregor sent me the following hasty words:
Date:4th April 2000
Title:what kind of address is that
Message: this site is a significant improvement on the old one. In my esstimation
it is around 2.5 times better. By the way, I know I spelt esstimation
wrong but I can't be bothered to go back and re-type it and it would take too long. I also know that it is taking longer to type this out than
re-type esstimation, but I am like that aren't I.
And then:
Message: I sent the last e-mail before I read the legal stuff. I now completely
withdraw that and this e-mail and you are not allowed to use them or I will
think of something nasty to do. That isn't much of a threat is it?
Ah, Keith, my poor fool. Can you not see? Aaah.
Mr "Jim Apple" Andrews
I received the following words of "encouragement" from the inimitable Mr Andrews:
Date:9th April 2000
Title:What an interesting site
Message: See subject of message!
Regards,
Mr A
That's Mr A all over. "Interesting." Note how he avoids saying whether he actually thought the site was any good. He used the same strategy when commenting on my maths coursework.
Kieran "The Crunch" Lam
Anyway, here's an extract from a mail I got from Kieran Lam.
Date:31st March 2000
Title:Hey boy!
Message: ...
Anyway, not a bad website i suppose (Not what you expeected me to say eh?) but like you said, decorate it a bit.
...
Thanks, Kieran. Oh, and thanks for putting me in your address book and sending me chain letters incessantly. For those who would like to return the favour, K can be reached at this address.
Ben "Shu" Stevens
Encouraging words here from Ben Stevens. This is the kind of mail that I like to receive, along with the "other" ones:
Date:26th April 2000
Title:Teletubbies
Message: I love teletubbies go to war
This in my opinion is the best cartoon you have ever drawn Date:26th April 2000
Title:navigation bar
Message: Almost forgot to mention that the navigation bar is really good. Would have preferred it down the side though. why is short ass on the page
I'm sure I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, Ben Stevens of Kilburn. I would not endorse such comments in any situation, particularly not if they were aimed at a fine upstanding pillar of the community. I accept no responsibility for the deeds of others.
Tom "Margaret Thatcher" Martin
I was ridiculously overjoyed to receive these words of encouragement from old mad Tom Martin. He's mad, he is. Here's what he had to say:
Date:7th June 2000
Title:FROM THE DEPT. OF BARONESS THATCHER
Message: FROM THE DEPT. OF BARONESS THATCHER OF KESTEVEN.
THE RT. HON. MRS MARGARET THATCHER M.P
Dear James.
On behalf of myself, I would like to thank you for letting me
look at your exciting website. I am encouraged that so many young people
like yourself are keeping up with the fast advances in technology. I myself,
find it very tedious to keep up with the world and I have only just found my
way with e-mail.
Once more, I would like to thank you, I have archived your website and with
your permission I am willing to put your address in the 'Young
Conservatives' magazine for next month.
Best Wishes and Good Luck for the future.
Baroness Thatcher
(The Rt. Hon. Mrs Margaret Thatcher M.P.)
---------------------------------------------------------
MRS THATCHER IS WILLING TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE ON GOVERNMENT
AND SOCIAL AFFAIRS. YOU CAN WRITE TO:-
Baroness Thatcher,
The House of Lords,
Westminster,
London,
WER 7HC.
VISIT THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY WEBSITE:-
www.tory.org.uk
And it's difficult not to feel humbled, and perhaps slightly ashamed, after reading that.
Robert "The Bruce" Webster
Robert Webster sent me the following enthusiastic, if stupid, mail:
Date:8th June 2000
Title:Moonmin
Message: ...Well, I was just about to send a highly witty and informative e-mail, and
that b*****d Keith (you know; the bloke with a chin the size of a small
continent)decided to reset my computer. The fool.
Don't be too quick to mock him on your site though; when you become rich and
famous, you may well need a portable runway on which to land your private
plane, with Keith's chin being state of the art in this field!
<evil cackling & laughter, before Rob falls off chair>
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Robbie the Bruce
_____________________________________________________
The Teletubbies must be Stopped!
I don't know... someone sits in front of a keyboard, he gets ideas, he thinks he's Clint Eastwood or something. I also mock you, Rob. I mock your inability to spell Moomin, your inability to remember the address of a website and your inability to mock properly, as I am currently demonstrating. Ha! I win this round. Who's next!?
David "Sha'a'ollie'doooo'oh!" Oliffe
Jumping on the bandwagon somewhat, David Oliffe sent me this rather overanalytical message:
Date:9th June 2000
Title:People is callin me de foool...
Message: LABOUR ENTERPRISE.LBR.WESTMINSTER.
H..Hello. Tony-Tony Blair here. A-Ive just b.been scooooting around your site here, and I must say, I...Im very impressed. It is full of cheerful pictures, but I have a few, minor co...c...c.complaints. {Mr.Blair wipes the sweat from his brow. With the sweat, goes haunting memories of a certain meeting with the Women's Society}
Ye...Yes, well you s...see, I dont very much like the colour system you've used. H...Here is what I believe is portrayed to the on looking audience.....
Th...They first s....see the back ground..which is used to represent Britain...under the Labo....labour party...grey, dull and un welcomming {Oh I do hope I've spelt that right!} Also, the writing onto which t...the user clicks is B....blue, which, (correct me if I'm wrong) represents the Tory party. {Mr.Blair looks to his window, just in time to watch the rain-soaked bodies of Maggy Thatcher and William Hague prance by singing "We're Blue Dab a dee dab a die!"} Then, once clicked on, t...t...t..the user realises that the writing turns "Labour Red", portraying the Labour party as an Old Regime...used...finished with.
I....im s....sorry if ive offended you, but I feel, as a Utillitarian, that the happiness of the majority is at stake. I would also like to state that Miasmists are "Stan Jobblers"
Thankyou for your time, although y...you should thank me.
TONY "Demoneyes" BLAIR
If you're really Tony Blair, then you'll be able to explain the look of anguish and dread that crosses your face whenever you think there are no cameras on you, won't you?
Shawn "MoonRaker" Morrish
MoonRaker, who found my page by accident, had this to say.
Date:12 July 2000
Title:I love Wilbur!
Message: Hi,
I love The Many Deaths of Wilbur... I have a thing like him... I call him speedy, It's the story of a pet chinchilla my teacher had. Every episode is of him having the crap beatin, shredded, juiced, and ripped out of him... I love your #10 issue, It is great!!!
Thank you. If you had any idea how much that meant to me, you truly would be terrified.
Steven "Orange" Kennedy
Steven Kennedy has this to say. Good for him.
Date:28th July 2000
Howz ya goin on youth. I've got to be quick coz I'm at work but I did say that I would look at it while I was here so here I am. Look you already know that I think Its a cool site and if I had a computer and the inteligence then I might have a go my self but as it is I can't! It gets better evry day matey, keep it up and you too could become ruler of the world! Love Wilbur N and the fan and in fact all of your doodles. Nice one mate.
your mate Steve (www.nowebsite.com)
(oh yeh and if you don't put me in your Hall of fame Ill kill you next time I see you!)
Wise words there from Steve. He and I once worked out the true meaning of life.
Mary "Heriot-Watt undergraduate" Duncan
Now, surprise! It's another person I don't actually know. I expect this will start to seem like a normal feedback page in no time.
Date:25th October 2000
Title:Ive come here by mistake
Message:
Uh, I followed a League of Gentlemen link and found your Daria crossover thing. Pretty cool.
At least you weren't that Tyneside student using the search term "filthy animations".
Bev "No-one important" Nonymous
It's actually quite alarming how many emails I'm receiving. This is a personal home page; nobody should be finding it interesting. Here's another one.
Date:7th November 2000
Title:hiya
Message:
nice site. i added it to my favorites. i sent this email just to prove you wrong. you dont know me and i found your site. although i cant remember how, but thats not important. its a very interesting page. keep it going.
bev
Well. Proved me wrong there, apparently. Seems almost a little presumptious for someone apparently unable to reach the shift key. Um, but thanks for your mail!
Seth "DaBomb" Whitsitt
Elizabeth Whitsitt (apparently) was rash enough to send me this:
Date:19th February 2001
Title:That gift thing.
Message:
You know the random quote on the top of your page? It said that I won something. I was wondering if this was true
All very well done and all that, but had your scrutiny of the random message been a tad more perceptive, you would have realised that it in fact stated that you hadn't won a prize at all. Ah, well. You lose some, you lose some.
"Jabba"
I received these words of wisdom from a fictional character from the Star Wars universe (actually I'm joking; they weren't all that wise.)
Date:9th June 2001
Title:
Message:
Hi,
I was actually looking for a picture of the pilbury dough boy for my mate(don't ask) and your site came up in the search engine.
Quite cool though.
from
gemma
I remember you from my statistics. The Pilsbury dough boy? Should I be as scared as I am?
This next email gets no aesthetic treatment. I just want to get it over with.
Date:29th May 2001
Title:A question !
Message:
Are you Italian ?
BlueTiger22686, whoever you are, please never contact me again.
Edward Kopczyk
My colleague in artistry Ed took the time to offer the following constructive criticism:
Date:23rd June 2001
Title:
Message:
Nice web site... there are only three things that i would like to say about it
1. it's great.... but arn't you going to change the FONT?!
2. Put the other animations on especially the skeleton one
and 3.... urm... well i've over-stepped myself with the three keep up the good work
Ed
No, I'm not going to change the font. You're lucky I even used ASCII. If I'd had my way, it'd be binary all the way through. As for the animations, I have just recently mended my Amiga (mere months after receiving this mail!) but sadly I am about to go to university, and thus cannot port any more across for now. Rest assured, though, that Skellybones rests high at the top of my agenda. That aside, though, whatever happened to titling your emails? I despair, I really do.
Another low-key one now; to be honest I'm getting sick of trawling the net for pictures.
Date:1st September 2001
Title:
Message:
Hi Jim,
I think you're really witty & funny (please don't put this on the web site as it's not up to your standard of wit I'm afraid but for all the witty people there have to be appreciators & I'm one of them).
Vanessa
What is this? What exactly are you after? Surely you realise that nothing on this site is intended for the entertainment of others? We live in a sick world, I'm afraid.
I have also had a couple of emails asking me about Chris Morris, although I don't know when I became the Morris Oracle of Webworld. I mean, by all means ask, but don't expect answers that are correct, accurate or even, in extreme situations, extant.
Anyway, here's another one.
Date:11th October 2001
Title:Life
Message:
I Understand Life
SpikoPath :)
I don't care if you could hack my email, if you could or hack anything of mine. If you did that would just be a weak act on your behalf but don't worry I don't kick a weak person when they are down because I myself am not weak and I shall never give in (if strong enough)to weak acts. I really hope you are not as weak as this as I shall have to make you face truth.
I don't play games that hurt people mentally or physically, that way I win all of the time.
I'm a friend not a foe
SpikoPath :)
Goodness, how very very enigmatic. Six out of ten for effort, although I don't suppose the effort in this particular case was supposed to be so obvious.
Want to be a resident in this hall of fame? Do you, too, have no sense of dignity, nor even a modicum of intelligence? Have you seen past the irony? Then contact me!
