Dcagfeg

There are a great many languages on Earth. This makes communication different. People are constantly searching for ways to break this language barrier, hence the immense popularity of Esperanto. I have decided to launch my own language, which I hope will eventually be spoken by every human. (This may have to involve genocide.)

It strikes me that there are many problems with existing modern languages. I decided to remedy this by creating a language which has no creative restrictions, but is easy to learn and remember. Dcagfeg is unique in that it has only seven letters in its alphabet. The alphabet itself is quite ornate and difficult to write, but then written Dgacfeg is not as effective as spoken Dcagfeg. Inflection and body language are very important aspects of communication, since Dcagfeg only has four words.

Here is the Dcagfeg alphabet:

A =
B =
C =
D =
E =
F =
G =

As I said, there are four words. These are they:


abdeb: (n) 1: aardvark 2: any other object


fecba: (n) 1: helipad 2: any other location, or man-made installation


gabdef: (v) 1: to masticate 2: any other verb


Dcagfeg(i): (n) 1: the name of the language 2: any other proper noun, for example names and places
Dcagfeg(ii): (a) any adjective
Dcagfeg(iii): (!) an expletive

A note on grammar: the word Dcagfeg is always capitalised (the D, by the way, is silent.) Although the Dcagfeg alphabet itself has no capital letters, be sure to say it with a capital. Dcagfeg has no punctuation; sentences run seamlessly into one another for ease of reading.

Here are a few example sentences. With a bit of practice, you should be speaking Dcagfeg fluently. Why not try speaking and writing it all the time, and berating those who cannot understand you for being so old-fashioned and backward-looking?


abdeb fecba
"There is an aardvark on my helipad."


abdeb fecba
"There is no aardvark on your helipad."


Dcagfeg abdeb gabdef Dcagfeg
"You are a stupid fool because you do not speak Dcagfeg."

Note that pronouns (e.g. you, my,) qualifiers (e.g. if, not,) and conjunctions (e.g. and, to) are not necessary. Your meaning should be made clear by your tone of voice and your stance, limb positions, eyebrow movements and so on. Soon you could be the best Dcagfeg speaker in the world. And believe me, that won't be as difficult as you might expect.